I am in the middle of revamping my whole house and it has been a challenge to say the least. My house is a complete disaster area at the moment but as we get rid of more and more stuff and make the much needed changes, I notice that somehow I feel lighter. What is happening on the outside reflects the inside is something I have heard before but this time it is taking on a whole new meaning. I have entered into a new season of my life and amidst the changes of every day life I didn't notice just how lost I was feeling.
Dont get me wrong, this new season of my life isn't a bad one. I have so many amazing things happening that I can't keep up with counting my blessings. Things have been changing rapidly before my eyes but somehow it has happened so gradually I didn't notice but when I did finally see the changes reality kind of slapped me in the face. My identity for the past twenty years has been mommy and even though I still have younger kids in the house they are becoming more and more independent. My youngest who has always had his words for things is starting to speak properly, he actually called his beloved Tilta-Hurl by its proper Tilta-Whirl name the other day and when I heard it I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. Grief is a fickle friend and is warranted when we go through any change. Right now I am losing my identity, I am losing my babies to adolelescense and all I can say is it sucks.
But.....out with the old and in with the new! It's funny how doing simple things like rearranging furniture and going through the clutter and putting a fresh coat of paint on the walls helps you feel better. Instead of sitting silently and to an extent unknowingly with my grief, making these changes has turned into a symbolic journey of allowing and welcoming in this new season. My life as I have known it for all of these years is going to be different and while I am still grieving the changes I am so excited to see what this next chapter has in store. This "house cleaning" is necessary and the changes on the outside are beginning to reflect on the inside.
We often think of grief as something we go through when someone dies but honestly grief is something we experience with any loss. Whether it's the end of a relationship, a job, a move...or going from mommy to just mom -grief is inevitably going to get you. Allow yourself the emotions and the pain that comes with it and welcome the excitement that these changes can bring.
As always feel free to leave a comment or send a message and if you ever need help,,,I'm here.